Here I am, sitting alone in my room, crying.

It's just after midnight and this is becoming a bit of a routine. I tried reaching out to my boyfiend but he just doesn't care. My friends don't notice, they don't care. I haven't been myself in months and I hate it. I need a friend. I need help. I need someone to listen. I nee someone to make me feel worth it, to make me feel like I belong here and that I have a purpose.

I deleted my facebook, I deleted my twitter, I deleted most of the numbers in my phone and all of my texts and I'm ready to start new. I'm ready to find out who notices and who my real friends are, if I have any. I'm ready to decide once and for all whether this long distance relationship is worth it and I'm ready to start all over and teach myself how to be happy again.

I wish people didn't replace me so easily.

I realized that I haven't blogged in.. a long while.

I try to on tumblr but I'm always so afraid of being judged by my friends. But sometimes I just need to get it all out.

I hate my school. I hate how I always feel so lonely. I hate how the only person who makes me feel alive and makes me feel like I'm not a worthless piece of shit is 10hours away from me. I hate that I cry myself to sleep and no one even knows it. I hate that even if they did, they probably wouldn't even care. I guess I hate a lot of things right now and part of me doesn't even understand why because I want to be happy. It's just so hard.

Plan B: Skip College

I think that education is one of the most important things in life but I don't think you should be forced to go to college if it's not going to help you at all in the future with the trade that you're interested in.

For example, if you want to be a singer or a songwriter or maybe an actress, you probably don't need too much past basic knowlegde in order to succeed in your future. If you want to be a doctor or a a teacher, however, going to college is an essential part of your life.

I believe that most people should go to college, myself included, but if you don't necessarily need to attend college, than why waste the thousands of dollars for food, board, and tuition?

Morgan Freeman

Morgan Freeman!

So, today is my last day of blogging. D: An unfortunate event. So, I figured, why not blog about one of the greatest men ever?

I guess the first thing I ever saw Morgan Freeman in was either Lean On Me or Driving Miss Daisy but my favorite Morgan Freeman movie, as well as my favorite movie of all time, would have to be Shawshank Redemption. It's a beautiful, powerful story with wonderful acting. Morgan Freeman plays his part perfectly, as he does in most any movie I've ever seen him in. And this is a movie I could quote for days. "Get busy living, or get busy dying."

My favorite line though is, "I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend."


I also loved Morgan Freeman in the James Patterson thrillers turned into movies, Along Came a Spider and Kiss The Girls. The books were excellent and while the movies didn't stay one hundred percent true to the storyline, they were still pretty good movies, and Morgan Freeman captured the character of Alex Cross wonderfully.

Other Morgan Freeman classics have since come around since his early days with Lean on Me, such as a few of my personal favorites, Batman Begins, The Dark Knight, Wanted, and Bruce Almighty.

He is a truly gifted man, and hey, Morgan Freeman is just a wonderful actor, I suppose. :]


And so, dear blog, I bid you farewell, and maybe we'll meet again next Monday, or sometime in the near future.

In the wise words of Morgan Freeman.. "If you lay down, people will step over you. But if you keep scrambling, if you keep going, someone will always, always give you a hand. Always. But you gotta keep dancing, you gotta keep your feet moving."

And.. why not, another bit of wise words, straight out of the mouth of Morgan Freeman..
"So how do you be good to life? You live it." -Morgan Freeman. =]

Babbling

I'm supposed to free blog for the last like, 10 minutes of class but I don't know what to say.

Uh. I have this insane craving for a cupcake right now and I think I might make some when I get home because, yeah. Cupcakes. <3

They keys on this keyboard stick and it irks me.

I just found out Royal Pains comes back in less than a month and I'm so very excited. It's my favorite showw.

Okay, well. The bell's about to ring, until next time. :]

Formspring

Formspring is pretty stupid and it's even worse that teenagers let the comments get to them. Some people are leaving mean comments just to see how that particular teen will react and some are just saying what they really mean. A lot of comments are flat out lies in the first place and teenagers should stop reacting in such a negative way, they should either take it in stride or delete their account.

One of my friends deleted her account after only a week or two because each and every comment was rude and derogatory. I have an account that I rarely check, but every comment I've had which is about 200 maybe, has been positive save for one, which wasn't even very mean. I think the idea of the website is just pretty stupid.

I didn't like in the article that the one mom that was interviewed signs on to her daughters account without her knowledge. That's an invasion of privacy. I understand that she's worried but her daughter will come to her if she's upset and it becomes a problem. I jsut don't like the way she's going about it.